Mother of the Bride and Mother of the Groom Outfits: Your Questions Answered
Choosing what to wear as the mother of the bride or mother of the groom is one of the loveliest parts of the wedding, and, I know, one of the most worrying. After more than 20 years of dressing women for their most important days, these are the questions I'm asked most often in my showroom, with my honest answers.
When should the mother of the bride buy her outfit?
Ideally, start looking four to six months before the wedding. That gives you time to try on different styles, find the right colour and allow for any alterations without rushing.
If you're ordering a made-to-order dress, allow around eight weeks for it to be made, and aim to have it in your hands at least six weeks before the big day. Those six weeks are your breathing space.
If your weight is changing, perhaps because you're taking Mounjaro or Wegovy or going through menopause, I've written a whole guide on timing: When should you buy your mother of the bride dress if you're losing weight?
Who chooses first: the mother of the bride or the mother of the groom?
Traditionally, the mother of the bride chooses her outfit first and lets the mother of the groom know the colour and length, so the two of them complement each other in the photographs rather than clash or match exactly.
These days, the most important thing is simply to talk. A quick message to share a photo or a colour swatch saves any awkwardness on the day.
What colour should the mother of the bride wear?
Choose a colour that makes you look and feel wonderful first, then check it sits happily with the wedding colours. Some of the most flattering choices are:
- Navy and ink blues: elegant, slimming and beautiful in photographs.
- Jewel tones: sapphire, emerald, plum and deep rose bring warmth to your face.
- Soft metallics and brocades: champagne, gold and cream are a gorgeous choice when the bride wants a soft, tonal look for the wedding party.
- Prints: a well-scaled floral or painterly print is joyful, forgiving and feels special.
What colours should the mother of the bride or groom avoid?
White, ivory and very pale cream are best avoided unless the bride has specifically asked for them. It's her colour on the day.
Black was once considered a no, but a beautifully cut black or navy-black dress can look very chic, especially at an evening wedding. If in doubt, check with the couple.
It's also wise to avoid exactly matching the bridesmaids, unless that's the plan.
Should the mother of the bride wear a long or short dress?
Take your lead from the wedding. For a formal or black-tie wedding, an evening wedding or a grand venue, a maxi or ballerina-length dress feels right. For a daytime, garden or registry office wedding, a midi length is elegant and practical.
A ballerina length, which falls between the calf and ankle, is a wonderful middle ground. It feels dressy without the worry of tripping on a hem, and it works for both day and evening.
Can the mother of the bride wear a jumpsuit?
Absolutely. A well-cut jumpsuit in a luxurious fabric like velvet or sequins looks modern and glamorous, and it's wonderfully comfortable for a long day of standing, hugging and dancing.
What's the most flattering dress shape for the mother of the bride?
This is my favourite question. For most women, the most flattering shapes are the ones that:
- Lift and support the bust, so you're not adjusting your neckline all day.
- Define the waist, with a sash, a belt or clever seaming.
- Skim the tummy rather than cling to it.
- Give a little coverage on the arms, such as a 3/4 sleeve, if you prefer.
Shirt dresses, faux wrap bodices and sarong-style skirts all do this beautifully. A dress that skims rather than clings will almost always look slimmer and more elegant than one that's too tight.
What should I wear if I have a fuller bust?
Look for a V or wrap neckline, which elongates and flatters, and avoid button fronts that can gape. Concealed plackets, zip fronts and bodices cut to sit just under the bust make a huge difference to comfort and confidence.
Do I need to wear a hat or fascinator?
Not anymore. Hats and fascinators are lovely, especially at a traditional church wedding, but they're no longer expected. If you do wear one, choose something that coordinates with your outfit rather than matching it exactly, and remember that most hats come off at the reception.
How do I make sure I'm comfortable all day?
A wedding day can easily last twelve hours, so comfort really matters:
- Choose fabrics with a little stretch.
- Sit, bend and lift your arms in the dress before you buy it.
- Wear your shoes in at home first, and pack a pair of flats for the evening.
- Bring a wrap or jacket for church and for later in the evening.
How do I avoid upstaging the bride?
You won't, as long as you avoid white and wear something that's elegant rather than bridal. Mothers of the bride and groom are meant to look wonderful. The couple want you to feel your best in the photographs they'll keep forever.
Can I wear something I'll wear again?
Yes, and I'd encourage it. Many of my customers wear their mother of the bride dress again to other weddings, birthdays, the races and Christmas parties. Some even have the hem shortened afterwards so it becomes a whole new dress.
Need help choosing your dress?
If you'd like help finding the perfect dress, I'd love to see you in my showroom near Tottenham Hale. You'll have my undivided attention, and we can try different styles, talk through colours and, if you'd like, design a made-to-order dress just for you.
Book an appointment to come and see me or browse my event wear.
Love, Katya x
