Mother of the Bride, Mother of the Groom and Bridesmaids: Who Chooses Their Colour First?
Mother of the bride, mother of the groom, bridesmaids, stepmothers... who chooses their colour first? It's one of the questions I'm asked most often in my showroom. Here's the traditional etiquette, the colours everyone is wearing right now, and how to make sure the whole wedding party looks beautiful together.
The short answer
Who chooses their wedding outfit colour first?
The traditional order is simple:
- 1. The bride chooses her dress, her colour theme and her bridesmaids' colours.
- 2. The mother of the bride chooses next.
- 3. The mother of the groom chooses after the mother of the bride.
- 4. Stepmothers and other close family follow on.
It isn't about hierarchy. It's about making sure everyone looks lovely together in the photographs, and nobody ends up wearing the same colour by accident.
It starts with the bride
Why does the bride choose first?
Very often the bride has already chosen her bridesmaids' colours, her theme and her palette long before anyone else starts shopping. The flowers, the table settings and the bridesmaids' dresses may all be planned around a particular set of colours.
So my first piece of advice is always this: speak to the bride. Ask her whether there's a colour palette, which colours the bridesmaids are wearing, and whether there's anything she'd love you to wear, or to avoid. Most brides are delighted to be asked.
Your turn
What should the mother of the bride consider?
Once the bride has chosen, it's the mother of the bride's turn. You'll be in many of the most important photographs, so choose a colour that complements the bridesmaids and the theme without matching them exactly. A shade darker or lighter, or a print that picks up one of the wedding colours, works beautifully.
It's then lovely etiquette to let the mother of the groom know what you've chosen, so she can plan her outfit to complement yours.
★★★★★
“This dress has the Wow factor and just exudes elegance! Perfect for mother of the bride (try not to outshine the bride!) Timeless and classic, definitely a must have for that special occasion.”
Helen C.
Suzannah in Pink Artist Print
Next in line
What should the mother of the groom wear?
The mother of the groom traditionally chooses after the mother of the bride. The aim is to complement, not match. If the mother of the bride is wearing a soft blue, you might choose a deeper navy, a sage green or a print with a touch of blue in it.
A quick chat or a photo of each other's outfits can save a lot of worry, and many mothers of the bride and groom end up becoming good friends through the process.
★★★★★
“After months of looking for mother of groom dress returning lots... I came across Katya's page and kept going back to the red Stevie dress. I messaged with a couple of questions and Katya herself called me! I ordered the red dress and was blown away by quality and how nice I felt in it. I'm 62.”
Michelle D.
Stevie in Red Tahitian Rose
Modern families
What if there are stepmothers and several parents?
Many weddings today have stepmothers, stepfathers' partners and more than two families involved. That's wonderful, but it does mean a little more coordination.
The etiquette is still the same: the mother of the bride chooses first, then the mother of the groom, and then any stepmothers follow. Everyone should check in with the bride about the colour palette, and it's thoughtful to share your choice with the others so the photographs feel harmonious.
If there's any sensitivity in the family, the bride, or a close friend, can quietly help everyone coordinate.
Autumn wedding colours
Which colours are popular for weddings right now?
This autumn, sage and rust have been absolutely everywhere. They're warm, earthy and gorgeous with autumn flowers, and they suit so many skin tones. Rust velvet in particular glows in candlelight.
My Stevie in Rust Velvet is perfect for autumn weddings, and greens like the Suzannah in Green Belle Fleur, Stevie in Olive and Sasha in Pine Green sit beautifully alongside sage bridesmaids.
Looking ahead
What will be the big wedding colours next year and in 2027?
Electric blue is going to be hugely popular next year. It's bold, joyful and incredibly flattering, and it looks stunning against both white and navy.
★★★★★
“I wore this dress to my daughter's wedding and felt amazing in it. Got lots of compliments but above all I felt really comfortable. The cut of this dress is outstanding.”
Sandra H.
Grace in Electric Blue
Then for 2027, bright pink is the colour to watch. It's happy, romantic and brilliant in photographs. My made-to-order Signature in Silk Dupion comes in over a hundred colours, including some beautiful pinks.
Don't forget pattern
Should I consider a print?
Yes! A print can be a wonderful way to tie in with a wedding palette without matching anyone exactly. Choose one where the background colour complements the theme, and where one of the colours in the flowers picks up the bridesmaids' dresses.
Prints are also very forgiving and photograph beautifully. You can read more in my post about my secret formula for beautiful prints.
A quick checklist
How do I get it right?
- Ask the bride about her palette and the bridesmaids' colours.
- Wait for your turn: bride, then mother of the bride, then mother of the groom, then stepmothers.
- Share your choice with the other mothers.
- Avoid white, ivory and cream unless the bride says otherwise.
- Complement rather than match, and consider a print.
- Choose something you feel wonderful in. You'll treasure the photographs forever.
Let's find your colour together
Bring a photo of the bridesmaids' dresses or the wedding palette to my London showroom, and we'll find the perfect dress for you.
Book a visitShop eventwearLove, Katya x
Katya Wildman is a London fashion designer and former costume designer and stylist for television and the red carpet. For more than 20 years she has designed flattering occasion dresses for real women, made in London, and she welcomes customers to her showroom in Tottenham Hale to try on dresses in person.
